


DreamSMP Grocery Store AU headcannons

by getouttamyswamp



Series: DreamSMP Grocery AU [1]
Category: DreamSMP
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grocery Store, Clay | Dream & Technoblade Friendship (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream and Grayson | Purpled are Siblings, Crack, DreamSMP - Freeform, Fluff, Found Family, Good Friend Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Grayson | Purpled Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Its funny I swear, Mentioned Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Panic Attacks, Protective Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Protective GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Sick TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Soft GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade Has Braided Hair (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade is Bad at Feelings (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Phil Watson - Freeform, TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF) - Freeform, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Tommyinnit & Toby Smith | Tubbo - Freeform, Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit - Freeform, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, dream team
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:21:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28393056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/getouttamyswamp/pseuds/getouttamyswamp
Summary: headcannons for the DreamSMP Grocery Store AU-basically just the members in the Dream SMP all work in a grocery store, the Dream team are the managers, Tommy and Wilbur are the heads of the Grocery dept, the badlands are the head of Produce dept, ect, ect. MORE IN THE FIC-I just really love the dynamics that would be going on here ( also some crack)- Its just a nice change from all the heavy lore that has been going around (not that its bad!)-its really light hearted but may be some angst in there too- later chapters may have some short oneshots, but if their worth while ill just post them separately- add on if you have any ideas, i love to see them!!!
Series: DreamSMP Grocery AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079438
Comments: 274
Kudos: 822
Collections: Dream SMP Grocery Store AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the fic writing discord also helped me make these, so if yall want credit just @ yourselves in the comments

ROLES/ PPL  
Sap and George are like managers  
Tommy is head of the grocery dept along with Wilbur, even though he's a child (literally) many of the workers question how he got the position, they know that he's been working longer than Wilbur. he also low key hates his job but he needs money, and he’ll just keep it to himself and jus still be nice to everyone  
Niki is head of the bakery, tubbo is a worker there  
Awesamdude is the head of the Product dept, Ponk and Punz work in meat dept/main supervisors, along with Purpled  
independence war is just a prank war between grocery dept and managers/ meat  
along with bakery dept helping grocery dept  
frontend/ cashiers, prolly like the managers sometimes, along with Quackity, Karl, and Part-time Purpled.  
Eret is bakery/cashier

one-shots/ headcanons

TOMMY GETS HELP  
Tommy is doing homework during his break, Dream walks in and notices, finds out Tommy has a big test and after work, he and tubbo are going to study together ( and maybe slips up and says he's struggling a bit with school ). the prank war becomes quiet on the manager side, they are all confused, the reason being that, the trio talked it over and had seen how Tommy usually had bags under his eyes, and that he always seemed to be drinking some kind of energy drink. he stops giving Tommy like 30 hours a week and reduces it to 20 ish ( when tom asks about it seeing as tom was the one who asked for more hours at first, dream brushes it off saying he's training some new people, and wants will do it, because he's newer and Tommy has trained so many ppl) they watch as Tommy eyebags slowly disappear, and how he stops studying and doing homework in the breakroom, dream later gets a thank you note from Tubbo, Wilbur and Niki. all separately  
-dream walks in on Tommy unloading a truck and the truck driver accidentally walked into the pallet he's moving ( a big one brov ) and just like all this food falls on the floor (it's in boxes so it’s just annoying) Tommy then slams his head into a wall multiple times and proceeds to clean it up, Tommy never noticed dream dying of laughter in the corner

TOMMY TUBBO SAP  
-also, I can just imagine like sapnap and Tommy in the back with like the pallet lifters having races  
-Sapnap and Tommy WOULD race and maybe let George and tubbo ride on the lifters while they race around  
Tommy and tubbo have this thing when, whenever they're on their breaks and see each other they both grab the nearest spray bottle and Mexican standoff. This had gone on for months until one time they sprayed each other and George got caught in the crossfire. they froze, then George whipped out 2 spray bottles and a sapnap, and soaked them. HE POKED HIS HEAD OUT THE OFFICE DOOR TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON AND GEORGE JUST GRABBED HIS SHIRT AND OVERHEAD THROWS HIM AT TOMMY  
Tommy accidentally got locked in the back of the milking area whilst restocking, after half an hour he saw Tubbo walking by so he put his head where the milk goes, PUSHED THAT MF COOLER DOOR OPEN and yelled ME GUSTA at tubbo, he died when tubbo jumped so high that he knocked over a stand. Tommy got let out of the freezer (mans was freezing) and like the whole store just like donated their sweaters to him to wear while he went on an early break..bad would just like have seen it happen and Sapnap would be a bit further away and somewhat see it and go on the staff radio and say "two idiots in isle 7, Wilbur come to get cho boys, ones stuck in a freezer"  
-Tommy started working at 14, which is why he knows everything, Tubbo started 3 months later and they immediately bonded

RANDOM SHET 1  
-Dream always wears sunglasses and a mask and no one questions it  
-everyone loves Niki, she gives tubbo, Tommy, and Ranboo the test cookies she makes ( and sometimes the others when they ask)  
-one time during closing there was a couple making out in an aisle, Quackity dead ass went on the speaker and said "anyone still here 15 mins after close will be hunted for sport" he heard Tommys laugh all the way from the backroom.

BADLANDS CRACK  
-the badlands but they're just chilling and eating lettuce straight out of the bags  
-antfrost but the "frost" is for when he forgot an entire shipment of salad in the freezer and it turned into icicles(edited)  
-Callahan walks in on the badlands weekly "eat a shit ton of lettuce party cause it expires today" and just turns and walks out  
-What if there was a moment of someone finding another person snacking on fruits?Like strawberries? Like that person pays for them, but it was just odd  
-awesome dude has been found multiple times just dead ass munching on an entire cob of celery ( he paid first ofc) "sam, why did you come in wearing that parka?" "Tommy, don't pry into adult business."

MEAT DEPT  
-purpled gives cashier vibes but is still bros with like the other "teens" and works part-time meat dept  
-I think that possibly the worst thing would be the week before Thanksgiving where everyone is busy, and the meat department, in particular, is melodramatic about how much turkey they have to package "ahhhh help! we need reinforcements! they're swarming us!" "punz, we told you only to use walkie-talkies for when you ran out of turkey." "God, you're no fun dream."

-before the homework problem got fixed dream and George walked in on sapnap, tubbo, and Tommy all shotgunning rockstars  
-What if there was a moment of someone finding another person snacking on fruits?Like strawberries? Like that person pays for them, but it was just odd  
cryptid moment where Niki walks behind the counter and hears crunching, only to turn around and see tubbo hiding behind a crate eating an armful of grapes  
-the cashiers, Tommy and tubbo are all waiting by the clock out machine, right before close, they see a guy run past with a full basket of meat, as well as ponk, punz and purpled all CHASIN THAT MAN OML, RIGHT OUT THE DOOR AS IN MANS WAS STEALING AND MEAT DEPT WAS NOT HAVING IT Phil is the one to chase the thief down!!!  
-Tommy “I’m not hallucinating right?” Tubbo “if you are, I am as well”

PHILZA MC  
-deli Phil pog! he has slowly developed an opinion on every kind of deli meat and cheese there is PHIL MAKES BEST SANDWICHES AND LEAVES EXTRA IN BREAK ROOM, THIS ALMOST STARTS A WAR deli, Phil, thinking abt Phil hating how Gordon Ramsey makes grilled cheese.  
-Mans literally rages over it for multiple days and sets out to make the perfect grilled cheese and it smh helped the store gain a lot of clout????

THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN CANNON DREAM SMP  
-the disk war but it's over the only 2 grocery box moving carts that work well, 'all the others loud as shit' - Tommy at some point  
-Dream and Tommy being seen having a battle by throwing breadsticks at each other.  
-Is that time where Tommy ran over Dream with a minecart just Tommy zooming around on a trolley and crashing into him  
-the duel but it’s launching breadsticks at each other ( standoff style) its dramatic, but Tommy actually does get like a huge bruise on his chest, and dream apologizes

LITERAL CRACK OML  
-Dream would pull the whole “I am the manager” - a customer was mad at Purpled whilst working front end, Dream does the whole "oh I’ll get the manager for you... turns around again 'hi :))'  
-dream watching from the store window as Tommy and tubbo get off work, and then proceed to hotbox their fucking car (purpled would prolly be there too)  
purpled standing there as Dream and Sapnap abuse drugs in the teenagers' car  
-Dream team decide to have one wild night BUT the hotboxing isn't even intentional, they just have to hide from the customers leaving and they accidentally jump into the sbi's car  
-LMAO, a customer walked up to the car (which is hotboxed) and knocked on the window thinking smth was on fire. This is when Dream first takes off the mask and sunglasses, bc he would get recognized otherwise, he rolls down the window RED ASS EYES, SMOKE POURING FROM THE CAR. yep everything is fine good sir:))))  
-flashback to dream beating sapnap with a fire extinguisher whist on fire

RANBOO  
-he usually ends up buying out the Minecraft cereal, and Tommy orders his favorites all the time, cause he actually likes this customer, they knew each other by name. when Ranboo gets hired he’s ECSTATIC  
-also ranboo being told the lore of the store by meat dept pfft  
-Ranboo's parents accidentally forget him at the store for a few hours and when they pick him up he has a job and a bunch of new friends  
-Dream finds out that ranboo walks home everyday bc his parents are always gone, which usually isn't a problem but it was raining so hard that day. dream offered him a ride in and 'ur getting one anyway bud' voice. he didn't realize that the whole d team would be there as well. they drive to his house which is in the worst part of town. he goes to get out of the truck whilst they’re parked in front of the smallest house there. dream grabs his arm before he can leave and asks 'are your parents home?' he tells them no, they end up all going to dreams house and watching movies ( Ranboo is completely fine with this) sbi shows up too. (the end is rushed oop)  


BIT OF PURPLED  
-an item came up as not on file, Purpled put the item in the bag staring at the customer, 'it can be our secret' 'bet' (purpled had a rough day) as soon as the customer Purpled whispers into the radio 'Tommy?' 'yeaa?' 'if I get one more not on file I will beat you over the head with it' * its groceries job to make sure that items are put on file correctly*

-purpled has a corruption arc where he goes from a normal teen cashier to the closest person to actually murder someone  


BARKING INSIDE JOKE  
-As we all know, Karl has catboy energy and sapnap has dog boy energy. My point is Karl meows and sapnap borks randomly while on shift. Employees go “just another day”, regulars be like “that checks out”, but people who don’t know them are like “what the-“  
-nonononono you don't get it, Karl just meows to get attention, and sapnap barks back to show that he was listening Even better. I was thinking of it as a running joke, but it’s like they’re communicating. That’s even better  
-quackity quacks /hj he refuses to let the customers lump him in w/ Karl as a catboy so he does that as an April fool's joke

THE CITY GOSSIP  
-all of the customers that have witnessed parts of the lore, or heard employees talking abt it, also talk to other ppl about it, it works in their favor as so many more people start coming to the store cause all the stories sound so damn funny  
-Tommy, tubbo, purpled, and ranboo talk about school together but it's less actual schoolwork and more "I hate school again. here's why"\  
-ppl at the four teens school start hearing their parents talk about this store and everything about it, ppl at their school are like 'don’t u work there?' ranboo sweats and is just like. "I know of it bc I shop there???" and avoids saying that he works there

PARTNERS!?!?!  
-The flirting shenanigans Dream x George Wilbur pretending to make out with a fish Karl x sapnap x Quackity  
-Accidentally turning on over-com. Dream “you can just say he’s a bottom” Quackity heard dying as dream scrambles to turn it off  
-George and dream are sappy and yucky in the break room and Niki at first asks "hey sapnap are you okay 3rd wheeling?" but then sap responds "ah you have no idea how much worse they are when they're not at work so this is fine"  
\- Just the chaos. Customers are convinced they actually are dating and when asked, none of the employees confirm or deny Fundy x dream “Aren’t you dating George, dream.” -Gets a shrug as a reply  
-A fake wedding between Fundy and dream with George crashing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> link to the discord server :)  
> https://discord.gg/w9CwSK26mm  
> (copy and paste into browser)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> APPARENTLEY YALL LIKED THIS!?!??! MORE IT IS THEN

HIDE AND SEEK  
-HIDE AND SEEK!!!!! At night. They sneak in and just play Tommy has a key card and the code to the alarm, but they only do it when the managers are in on it too just finished a huge game of hide and seek everyone comes out, the d team jus pulls in dreams truck, once again... hotboxed ' WE GOT MCDONALDS FUCKERS' - SAPNAP  
-Ranboo is good at it despite being so tall. his secret? he just blends in with the customers and knows good hiding spots  
-Phil somehow gets in the ceiling. I don’t know why Phil, but it would be Phil  
-they would def do it whilst working, and Dream would have to find them and be like GO BACK TO WORK OMFG, I NEED YOU TO WORK PLEASE SOBS  
-They have disco lights. someone turns them on while thier playing hide and seek in the dark, and Phil who once again was hiding on the ceiling almost had a heart attack

RANDOM FACTS 2  
-Oh boi. Sapnap caused a fire by accident. Dream had the fire extinguisher and thought about beating sap with it, but puts the fire out anyways, did anything burn down? no, he literally set himself on fire  
-ah yes, Tommy dies ( of laughing) and tubbo gives him a shirt :0  
-My one contribution to this: Tommy (and sometimes Tubbo) doing homework in-between customers and occasionally getting help from everyone else ('I,,, have answered this question using the total of the last customer - shit')  
-“You know what product we haven’t tried yet? Therapy” Therapy costs thousands of dollars, dealing it on your own and deciding to ride a cart to deal with it, on the other hand, doesn't  
-Tommy playing WAP in the speaker  
-instead of paging dream, they play the speedrun music  
-AND THEN DREAM SPEEDRUNS RESTOCKING WHILE ANT, GEORGE, BAD AND SAPNAP HUNTS HIM DOWN FOR FUN  
-one time they accidentally play it on the intercom instead of the radios, they hear a screech and Dream comes in hot to customer service  
-manhunt but Dream is restocking as fast as he can and the hunters have burnt baguettes  
-Niki seeing a try me product of a pigeon bread, looks at Wilbur in the eyes while Wilbur was playing with a random pigeon on the window, eats the pigeon shaped bread at one go  
-the 100k duel with Techno(who took fencing and is a college drop out) and Dream (powerful PVP player) to duel with burnt baguettes and the baskets as shields

ANGST  
-Imagine dream getting angry at Tommy for something and techno stepping in and it turning into an actual fight between techno and dream but techno is okay with losing his job because Tommy is his baby brother and he’ll be damned if someone hurts him  
-Dream yelling at Tommy for being late, he was late cause his parents were yelling at him and he had to walk to work  
George and Sapnap tell him that he may have gone too far, he goes to apologize and he sees Tommy, the Tommy that was never shown. the kid with too big bags under his eyes, the Tommy that drank rockstar for breakfast, the tom who was way too skinny for his age. Tommy’s spark just seems gone that day and everyone notices  
-Some Karen is harassing Tubbo and Tommy and it leaves a few emotional wounds that are somewhat permanent (especially to Tommy) because of how so conveniently they were looking after the store when Wil, Phil, and Techno went out for a break  
-Ranboo’s parents leaving for longer and longer business trips and not leaving money for groceries and he starts working longer hours, both for the cash and to avoid his empty house. Mumza comes in, meaning to check on Phil and the boys but finds a downcast and tired Ranboo instead.

-Wilbur and techno being brothers, and them being caught in the break room with Wilbur braiding techno’s hair. He gets hired close to the time ranboo does and no one but sbi knows that their brothers. they find out the cause of this  
-tommy standing in the opposite isle of purpled, then throwing something over the shelves at him. Purpled retaliates immediately by knocking an entire shelf of pasta over the edge onto Tommy  
-THE SKYBLOCK VIDEOS BUT WILBUR WAS STUCK RESTOCKING AND EVERYONE IS NOT THERE AND AFTER A FEW HOURS OF RESTOCKING AND JUST LOSING HIS GODDAMN MIND HE REALIZES IT WAS THE HOLIDAY SEASON AND HE DIDNT NEED TO GO TO WORK THAT DAY  
-People pass by the market that day and they just hear screaming about the sky g-ds and new milo  
-The water rises video but it’s just Schlatt and Wilbur stuck in the grocery when it had a flooding problem but more dramatic  
-Dream calling Tommy cause he needs extra help and Tommy just picks up with the groggiest "h'low"  
Techno Chasing dream around the store shouting “do your shoes need shining? Do you need coffee?” And dream just going “leave me alone!”

WILBUR MUSIC  
\- when they find out that Wilbur has written songs before, they find recordings of them and add them to the music disc for the store .- people ask about the song when it plays, and Wil is just flabbergasted that people love it  
-The store becomes known for having their own music  
-Only place you can hear it is that store  
-an album maker dude comes in to get groceries and ears the song, he asks the closest person (tommy somehow) what this song is. 'a dude in the store wrote it;  
-THE ALBUM GUYS ARE ALAWAYS CONFUSED CAUSE WHENEVER THEY ASK A WORKER WHO IT IS THEY JUS REPLY WIT 'JESUS'  
-a bunch of album ppl come into the store tryna figure out who tf wrote these songs, CAUSE SHIT THERE GOOD  
-he doesn't tell anyone why he took like a month off and he just shows up back again for his first shift with a cd of professionally recorded songs and is like "hey i got new music for you to play"  
-he slowly blows up but he makes a deal with dream to sponsor him, as long as dream can still play his music  
-he doesn't show his face in the vids, and one time he sings one verse while working and the customers are like HUH WHAT  
-the customers respect him tho and let him be, (not being weird abt it)  
-When confronted, the employees go “you didn’t know?”  
-just the idea of him popping back up at work after a month long break, with an ep recorded and just casually going back to restocking the fruit section  
-just the idea of him popping back up at work after a month long break, with an ep recorded and just casually going back to restocking the fruit section  
-he jus casually hands Dream a disc and contninues to fuckin stock shelves  
-like hey i know the old tracks were getting boring these should be better quality dream is just standing there like ?? for a solid two minutes  
-when the album makers ask Quackity who made the songs he goes on the intercom and does asmr saying jesus  
-Ranboo, when he gets asked, “I don’t know what you’re talking about” ' i dont know what your talking about' 'i jUST WANT TO KNOW WHO WROTE THIS' 'oh..... Jesus' "our lord and savior mr.prime"  
-Tommy from across the room “twitch prime!” "please god who wrote this" "daddy dream maker" - Purpled on his 3rd red bull  
-That leads to them thinking it dream because of Wilbur calling dream “daddy dream”

BREADSTICK FIGHTING  
-the duel but it launching breadsticks at each other ( standoff style) its dramatic, but Tommy actually does get a huge bruise on his chest, and dream apologizes  
-Dream and techno getting into a sword fight with those long bread things baguette sword fight a crowd of customers and employees from chanting them on.

THE PIC WALL

BADBOYHALO HAS A PIC WALL IN THE BREAK ROOM  
-Tommy with his hand on a throwing dartboard ( completely baked ) and there's a dart stuck on his forehead, sap threw it…  
-Wilbur is passed out in the fish section  
-Wil kissing a fish(a salmon to be exact)  
-Also along the lines of the fish section, tubbo is also l, saying with the fish. Captioned as “he’s with his people”  
-Wilbur braiding Techno’s hair as techno holds a baguette menacingly  
-Techno holding both tubbo and Tommy by the back of their shirts with the most exasperated face ever and the two of them are hissing at each other.  
-Tommy being chased by a bee that somehow came with the flowers, tubbo dying in the background  
-Wilbur sneaking up behind Fundy with fox ears  
-DREAM TEAM IN MAID OUTFITS  
-SBI CAR HOT BOXED AND D TEAM RUNNING AWAY LAUGHING  
-Tommy being chased by a bee that somehow came with the flowers, tubbo dying in the background  
-Tubbo on Tommy’s shoulders while both of them are t-posing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TAKE IT, TAKE IT *YEETS INTO PILE* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> link to the discord server :)  
> https://discord.gg/w9CwSK26mm  
> (copy and paste into browser)


	3. COMMENT ADD ON'S

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a collection of all of the comments of things that yall wanted to add on to the AU! i love all of your add on's and feel free to put some more in the comment section!
> 
> all of the comments have creds to the people who orignally commented them. :))
> 
> if you want yours removed (if your in the collection) just say and ill remove it! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i saw how you all added more on in the comments and i wanted to make sure they got seen!  
> so here ya go :)))
> 
> THERE IS ALSO COULPLE NEW HEADCANNONS THAT THE DISCORD BOIS AND I MADE NEAR THE END :))

COMMENT EDITION  
really want to see something where the teenagers have to dea Il with something that makes everyone just protective . 

(YHN017 ) lowkey imagines someone walking in Ranboo pouring left over milk over an almost expired cinnamonbun and cereal and just, stabbing that shet with a spoon lmao walks in to Ranboo debating if he should put spagetti in as well  
Fundy is the one being joked as a furry when like the one barking and meowing are sapnap and karl, come in with a fox eared headband and he just straight up blanched and run for his life  
Butcher army is that one time Fundy, Tubbo and Quackity get into the meat department and plays around and managed to bully Ranboo into thinking this was protocol lmao Technoblade was there for some meat for Phil and it ended up in a stand off  
Someone when ask where the fuck something is, Tommy or Tubbo without looking will say a weirdly very specific location and when checked yep its there and everyone is like 'How???' and they deadpanned and be like "how long did you think I was working here"  
The joke of Wilbur making out with a salmon and Phil making love with a Samsung Refrigerator. Phil denies it at first but then just gave up and followed the insanity, welcome to DSMP grocery store he deadpans  
Finals Week consist of the teens just chugging coffee/energy drinks, dont fuck with them they will gladly kill someone during this week

(Cy_the_sandwich) Tommy calling Dream and saying he can’t go in today, Dream can clearly hear him hyperventilating, when he asks what’s going on Tommy says something about his parents needing him to help out at home, Dream dosent say anything but Tommy is surprised to find some extra goodies in his locker when he goes in the next day (really just everyone being real sus of Tommy’s parents high standards and spoiling him b/c of it  
Similarly Ranboo calls in sick, Phil has the phone b/c of a prank Tommy and Wilbur are playing on Dream, in his loopy state Ranboo spills that his parents have been gone for two days and probably won’t be back for three more, Phil takes off early to go help out, Dream doesn’t question it (everyone becoming Ranboos family b/c he clearly needs one 

(Ochokinode ) "Ranboo, when he gets asked, “I don’t know what you’re talking about” ' i dont know what your talking about' 'i jUST WANT TO KNOW WHO WROTE THIS' 'oh..... Jesus' "our lord and savior mr.prime"  
"DREAM TEAM IN MAID OUTFITS" DTEAM IN MAID OUTFITS PFFFFFFF  
THE MANAGERS PULL UP IN MAID OUTFITS ONE DAY CAUSE THEY LOST A BET TO THE TEENS PFFFF

(ToManyFandomss101) I'd also love to see something with them having a Safeword for when they we're uncomfortable and a customer or even new employee (random person) was making Tommy uncomfortable so someone from Sbi or dream team hear him say his Safeword and get him out. Idk I just really want Tommy angst with protective others.

(DispareBoi) perhaps the day corpse was whitelisted, but instead hes just interning, seeing if he wants to be a grocery store manager :3  
just gimme corpse and Ranboo-

now some headcanons that i added :))

SCHLATT  
-Business partner  
-Saw how chaotic everything was and just went, “yes, I want this”

THE CRIMSON  
-the crimson is just a weird growth in the frozen section that happens when the badlands crew are the only ones working and they start to “worship” it until it gets removed  
-Skeppy has an allergic reaction to it, which is why he had to leave until it was removed.

STREAMING CLIPS  
-baisically the Store has a streaming channel, and its super popular because of how chaotic everything is. some streams will only be like 3 mins and it'll just be things like  
-tubbo opening the freezer to see Awesamdude crunching on lettuse  
-quackity surrounded by the tallest members and he's crying  
-the stream is just 30 secs long and its just zoomed in on tommy tripping over a stand  
-tommy hanging on a door in the bathroom doing the best scooby doo inpression on the planet the door breaks off and they run  
-phil falling out of the ceiling as disco lights flash and music blares  
-a series of wilbur just using people as an arm rest  
-karl has a tattoo of the oreo box bar code, and uses it relentlessly  
-a series of ranboo popping up out of no where and scaring people (almost like he teleported)  
-tommy with tubbo on his shoulders t posing over the managers  
the channel was made after a surprising amount of short vids that customers took went viral on a bunch of platforms, and Dream was like 'oh hey, marketing'

MORE RANBOO STUFF  
-he is constantly hitting his head on door ways, car doors, etc  
-he is silent when walking and is the kind of person who just appears out of no where and scares the shit out of people  
-he's the kind of student to write down everything in a planner  
-he is somehow awake at all hours of the day and night but never seems to be sleep deprived  
-impeccable fashion sense

YEAS SMOL CHAPTER I KNOW PFFF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FEED ME WITH COMMENTS, I LOVE TO READ THEM.  
> drop any headcanons/ideas yall have for the AU and if there happens to be enough i might add a few in the next headcanon chap. (the next chapter will actually be ones that i made, along with ideas from others in the discord server)
> 
> HYDRATE AND STAY SAFE YALLS :))))
> 
> link to the discord server :)  
> https://discord.gg/w9CwSK26mm  
> (copy and paste into browser)


	4. YEY MOREEE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TAKE :))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shout out to the discord server for helping make these better  
> link at bottom :)  
> also more of yalls comments add ons at the end  
> TW slight swearing, and if there anything else itll be at the top of the headcannon. so just skip said headcannon if ya need to ;))

SCHLATT  
-Business partner  
-Saw how chaotic everything was and just went, “yes, I want this”  
BEACH EP  
-Wilbur just walking in and throwing off his jacket and just wearing that and it's like those weird movies with girls in bikinis except it's done very comedy like and yet?? it still is hot??  
-Tommy “Jesus Christ Wilbur! I’m a minor!”  
-The store had a team bonding day and beach day was chosen.  
-Dream and Sap spend the whole day being Homiesexual to George  
-Idk what to put here ngl

MCC  
-Each month they compete to be the best grocery store workers  
-They team up in groups of four  
-Dream and Techno joins and whichever team has them is basically has an (unfair) advantage  
-SBI is one of the best team-ups there is(mutually agreed)  
-The challenges consist of,  
-fastest scanners,  
-fastest shelf stockers,  
-Pallet carts races (its always down to Tommy or Sapnap for 1st)  
-Traditional hide and seek game, but its disco, and Quackity had an autotune voice changer. (it really just turns into running from siren head Quackity)  
-tommy and Sap screaming whilst running from a shirtless Quackity who is covered in lights.  
-there would be a scanning chalenge, and purpled would just go lightspeed through those goddam groceries  
  
  
THE INCIDENT  
-everyone expects the shift of tommy, philza, wilbur and quackity to be fairly under control, if a bit chaotic. they do not expect it to be THAT chaotic. no one knows why or how they keep being put on shift together. it never ends well  
-dream walks in, phils spraying off an on fire wilbur, tommys making a satan circle around him, and Quackitys singing in autotune over the intercom again  
-"at least there's no holes in the walls this time."  
-why you got lice in your head - (dream watches as Bad comes sprinting full speed out of produce dept and tackles Quackity over the customer service counter)  
  
  
GHOSTBUR/SHYBUR  
-ghostbur resurrection but it's wilbur getting knocked out accidentally during opening shift and phil, eret and Ranboo frantically trying to wake him up before the store opens and others come, featuring phone calls from Tubbo and schlatt  
-Schlatt happens to be in the store at the time, and he just says GLATT whilst kicking Wilbur to wake him up  
-usually tommy handles when a customer needs help, or when there's a karen to deal with, so when wilbut starts to get better at talking the regulars always ask for him pff  
-he has a steady pool of grandmas and college students who adore him  
-they will sometimes ask for him to play guitar, (grandmas are like that) and want to try and pay him after, and he's jus all flustered an shit  
-a bunch of like teenagers come in all the time because they think he's cute but he is totally oblivious to it  
-After playing a song for like a bunch of college kids, Tommy's like 'getting all the gurls are ya' "what? tommy no, they just like music"  
-( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) the look  
  
  
SAMPLE COMPETITION  
-imagine wilbur and schlatt having a competition of who can run out of free samples faster idk why  
-Schlatt says that giving free samples is easy, after Wilbur had complained that it was hard to ask ppl. its an argument that turns into a challenge  
-'would you like a sample? no? too bad here ya go, and a beer to go. He's 10? IDK WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABT IT' -schlatt  
-Tubbo sees that wilbur is struggling to talk to ppl (the mofo is shy) so tubbo makes him honey cookies and lets him give those as samples, the entire store smells the cookies being made, and when they see Tubbo giving them to the sample stand chaos rains down  
-when they team up at one table the samples are gone in like 5 minutes flat

TUBBOS COOKIES  
-Everyone knows that Tubbos honey and oatmeal cookies are GOD-TIER so when the regulars along with the other departments smell the cookies, they try to sneak into bakery- niki ends up beating them off with a broom  
-He’ll only let one person visit him while making the cookies and that's Tommy, usually when either are having a rough day, or after Tommy's parents had yelled at him before work again, Tubbo will make the honey cookies at the store. And Tommy will just hang out in the bakery for a bit on his break to chill.  
-Dream allows Tommy to be in the bakery as long as the man gets some of the fresh cookies.  
-the honey oatmeal cookies becomes a store favorite, and grannies always beg Tubbo for the recipe,  
-Dream keeps the recipe a secret tho cause it's the first time he's actually been able to MARKET (mans has no idea what he's doing)

FUNNY ONE SHOTS  
-Someone wrote ‘George has a phat ass’ in the mens bathroom, and Sapnap was trying not to laugh so had that he was CRYING. Tommy knew that he wrote it and almost got blamed when he smirked when asked about it.  
-George walked into the freezer when Purpled was letting out a good ol’ scream after a boomer got mad at him. He found out 2 things that day, the freezer is sound proof, and when Purped leaves to the back for a bit… don't check on him.  
-Niki sits on Ranboos shoulders sometimes and they walk around to establish dominance  
-Wilbur is Fundys 'dad' bc Wil was always nicer around Fundy, and the nickname stuck after Wilbur defended a teary eyes Fundy from a Karen yelling at him  
  
  
STORE GETTING MF ROBBED  
TW GUN MENTION  
-The store is getting robbed by these guys cause they saw how well the store was doing  
-The make the store go into lockdown, and demand the managers come to front end, where the leader is  
-The store was slow at the time so its mostly workers who are stuck  
-A random good trys to rob Purpleds till while the others are gathering the other workers, ‘gimme the money shithead’ and Purpled is just like in the most monotone voice ever, “its Purpled” ‘i will shoot!’ “you know what, pull the fucking trigger, my life couldent get any fucking worse” robber shoots to the side of him “mother f-” Purpled then proceeds to jump over the till and beat the man with a fucking hand scanner (Purpled corruption arc lmaooo)  
-Basically they just shove the guys in an empty freezer, lock it. Then Die Hard the whole situation.  
-All the workers and the few customers run out of the store, cops are everywhere, along with news reporters trying to get info on what happened to the most popular grocery store in the city.  
-The cops find all of the robbers either tied up on the floor or locked in the freezer.  
-The news gets ahold of the security footage of the managers and the teens taking out the leader, and its the main headline  
-Okay imma end it here cause i feel like its maybe too much? Like the AU is mostly for like not heavy stuff, and i just feel like this would change the main timeline too much lol. Might write a one shot for it tho idk

THE FREEZER SEGA  
-George walked into the freezer when Purpled was letting out a good ol’ scream after a boomer got mad at him. He found out 2 things that day, the freezer is sound proof, and when Purped leaves to the back for a bit… don't check on him.  
-Purpled hates it here, and hes goanna make it EVERYONES problem- hes just not used to having so many friends  
-he goes back there once to find wilbur doing the same thing and they just exchange nods  
-it's the pain freezer and it'll eventually be used by everyone (and it's a sign that their friends know means they need comfort)  
-it becomes a trend on where if you see someone who is not from produce dept go into the freezer, to wait till they leave  
-just vibing there until they come out, when you can pat them on the back and go to find the eggs you need  
-whenever antfrost sees it happen he waits for them to come out and gives them celery for da munchies  
-And george just accidentally sees someone in the freezer,And curiously, he opens the door,To this ear piercing shriek and it's like the world is ending  
-Only to reflexively smash the door closed, To deathly quiet.  
-but then open it just a crack to see a teary purpled staring back at him.

FUNDY  
-Wilbur is Fundys 'dad' bc Wil was alaways nicer around Fundy, and the nickname stuck after Wilbur deffended a teary eyes Fundy from a Karen yelling at him  
-accompanying angst with absent parents for fundy,  
-orphan Fundy just moved into his own apartment  
-the workers all help him decorate the house when the find out  
-Tubbo just places bee stickers EVERYWHERE  
-wilbur remembering philza standing up for him in a similar way and is like "i've inherited the dad instinct"  
-phil not knowing about this and fundy just "hey gramps"  
-Fundy didn't even realise-is really confused why everyone's laughing rn and Phil and Will are so red  
-almost everyone has called Phil "dad" at some point, (with various levels of sarcasm and sincerity) but this was the first 'gramps'  
  
  
BREAKROOM THINGS  
-the break room has little touches and decorations from everyone  
-there's a cupboard completely covered on the inside with bee stickers  
-little doodles hanging up on the walls like a proud parent displaying their kid's artwork "It's not that many, Phil!" ... "Wilbur, I can see 15 pictures from any given position in the room." listen if the kids parents won't do it i will!"  
-there's a bunch of sticky notes on the walls with messages, from notes to self, encouraging messages, reminders, etc  
-Quackity glued like 5 fidget spinners to the underside of the table  
-'reminder, don't do drugs kids'- Dream (who literally hotboxed the sbi car)  
-a bunch of reminders for ranboo to not forget things  
-someone keeps leaving notes on Purpleds shit saying shit like 'make sure the freezer is empty when you scream bruh' and 'i know that your losing it but, we love u :)'  
-theres a sign on the door for when one of the kids is doing important homework or studying so the others don't bother them (also usable for naptimes and bad brain days)  
-"no loud bullshit past this door please" with stickers and pictures on it  
-they have sticky note conversations like Tommy and Wilbur have conflicting shifts for a week and can't talk and they just have a conversation even though they could definitely just text  
-Bad multiple times has added sticky notes that just say "LANGUAGE!!!"  
  
  
THE JUKE BOX  
-the break room used to have a jukebox when Tommy first started.  
\- it was when Tommy and Sapnap bonded that it all went down hill  
\- how they bonded? 10 cents is a full song on the jukebox. Tommy and Sapnap put 30 dollars worth of 10cents into that damn thing,  
-what song you may ask? 'man. or. MUPPET.'  
\- it played constantly in the breakroom, three days later, the box was gone. even Tommy and Sap were glad it was removed.  
-man or muppet haunted the o.g. workers for months after  
  
  
COMMENT ADD ONS TIMEEEE  
  
(clappilappitaffi (wolfblossom58) )  
\- im just imagining tubbo being hella passionate about save teh bees right?? and someone was being mean/teasing or whatever to tubbo and he went 'y'know what, im just going to annoy e v e r y o n e' and puts little bee stickers, and bee toys everywhere (think the rubber duck thing where people hide them in obscure places but bees) and its now a thing to try and find as many as you can,,, they still havent found them all to this day, someone opened a cupboard and either a wave of them came out or theres just a really large one just chillin... people try and shelve but the bees are just not letting them bee  
  
  
(i_need_sleep_but_punz_exists)  
\- the miners aka tommy, tubbo, purpled and ranboo are just in the break lounge helping each other with homework and one thing led to another then suddenly when hbomb walks in he sees them burning piles of paper on a portable stove on the table, all four of them surrounding the 4 corners of the table and saluting. hbomb walks out without another word.  
\- punz's golden chain necklace got missing one day and bitch he's panicked as fuck. at first he didn't show it but as the days he didnt even care about his work in the store, hes just searching through every corner for the goddamn necklace cus hes emotionally attached to the thing. at first dream and george were mad at punz for not working properly, but sapnap pointed out how he wasnt wearing his usual necklace and the three figured out that he was preoccupied with that. the day after the dteam found out they held a competition within the workers on whoever finds punz's necklace would get a 50% raise for the next week, but most/all said that it wasnt needed and that theyd do it for free anyway cus they just wanted punz to stop panicking and just rest. punz walks in late with his usual panic and anxiousness but is immediately confused once he stumbled upon tommy messing with the biscuits shelves and niki aggressively sweeping underneath the tables, both seemingly looking for something. when he asked sam (who was throwing out everything from the lettuce rack, not forgetting to take a few bites) he answered about how they were all looking for his necklace, and damn that dude was overwhelmed with love for all the employees. 2 hours later a yell was heard from quackity that it was in one of those crater things filled with raw chicken. it fell when punz was moving the craters and he just bent too low at one point. punz legit started tearing up and boom- hugs everyone, wholesome hugs.  
\- sapnap doing routine patrols around the store and just turns in one secluded corner and spots tommy just sat there on the floor, leaning against the shelf and munching on chocolate covered cookies while blasting depressing songs in his headphones. turns out tommy was constantly being cut off of meals at home due to not reaching parents expectation with grades, and tommy was rlly hungry this time but didnt want to take away too much from the store so he settled for the cheap biscuits. sapnap doesnt know this but assumes that tommy doesnt eat a lot. next day when tommy has his break he goes into the lounge break area and just sees sapnap sitting there menacingly, arms and legs crossed, a proper full meal on a plate right in front of him, and gestures tommy with the most threatening voice 'sit here sir thomas, and eat, unless you want to face the wrath that is myself shoving this beef jerky down your throat.' needless to say, the two definitely grown closer during that and tommy told him the actual reasons for him hiding in that corner eating unhealthy carbohydrates for daily food. after that it became a routine for the two to meet up in the secluded corner during mutual shift breaks and just have a small picnic.  
  
  
(Ilovemygun ) (I kinda added onto ur idea in the headcannons above)  
-When a robbery happened one day, the hole store went nuts.  
-They took out baguette sticks, lettuce, cheese, toilet paper and every-FUCKIN-thing  
-When someone tried to use Tommy as a hostage, he straight up slams with the man behind him in the ground, while sbi is just proud  
Also funny fight scene where they use their products as weapons.  
The hole thing was accidentally streamed and when product people (the ones giving products to people) people saw it, and they made many contracts with DSMP Store for the purpose of getting more profit-  
(TheAstro_Kat)  
-RANBOO- His parents aren't home, he doesn't eat except when Phil makes him sandwiches on the house, and someone notices that he is getting skinny-er. They let Phil know, and when his parents come home, Phil is like... "WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOUR CHILD!" and stuff happens  
-he sometimes just walks away from customers when they are being pushy  
-the "teenage time" (something i made up) would be when all the kids, TOmmy, Tubbo, Purpled, Ranboo, and then Drista (if she there) (and any others that I missed) just have a day where they do whatever  
-Ranboo gets bullied/beat-up because he is a 6'6" GIANT by kids at school, but he is shy, Phil/Sleepy bois comforts  
-Techno meets Ranboo by Tommy introducing them, and Techno says to Ranboo to get shorter  
  
  
(YHN017)  
-Fundy and Ranboo's mining competition except along with twitter its an announcement and the winner forces the loser to say whatever the fuck they want, the competition instead of mining its who's the best at unloading the new stocks from the truck into the grocery store.  
-Ranboo walked in on everyone fighting and was the one person who went back and forth between the deli section and the grocer section (semi errand boy lmao, but also just buys phil's sandwiches as lunch so its pretty regular) and started taking some more night shifts to get more money so he is also present to talk to tommy during "exile", didn't get the memo when apparently there was a prank war between grocer (lmanburg), the anarchists, and the managers, was like, 'wtf' (look at the I got pizza wait meets arson meme), the exile is just when he's tired and also probably sick or recovering and definitely not optimal and they;re like go rest my dude, get some food, also probably sit out midway through the war because of semi-exhaustion and sick, this is also coincidentally where Ranboo stayed at Phil's place a bit ( based on the Alone But Not Lonely fic link you had which is really amazing thank you voidofwriting)  
-Ranboo got a mental break down at one point and Dream walked by and helped the poor overwhelmed boy who lost his planner or had his planner stolen by bullies or smth. Dream let him stay in the breakroom for longer.  
Walmart Technoblade meme came from when some of the cashiers thought techno was talking to them and they turned back and see nope its just a very tall lanky boy customer who just wants his cereal please just let me buy the cereal dude, and then the nicknames started and everyone started to get more familiar of Ranboo lol  
  
  
(chilltiredbi)  
-you've talked about this that tubbo can bake cookies, right? so what if he can make other shit too, like bread and cake and muffins and cupcakes. him and niki are like the baking duo (fundy helps out sometimes) and no one can bake as good as them, so all the grannies and the mums and the dads and the kids and the gramps' flock to the bakery dept. for the goodies (therefore fucking marketing fjbvdjszs /hj-)  
-other than that, tommy's parents get doxxed one day when they come to the store and demand that he leaves the job, or else there'll be hell to pay. almost everyone's there (father and mother are shopping too) and they see how tommy goes pale, and how he starts to stutter. dream stands in between them and they start having a shouting match  
"ma'am i'm sorry, but tommy won't go with you."  
"but- he's - he's my son! don't tell me what to do!"  
"but ma'am-"  
"he's our son, and we know whats best for him!"  
"sir, i'm sorry, but he's clearly uncomfortable because of you two."  
(cue wilbur and techno trying to calm tommy down from his panic attack in the bg)  
then, oho, then, mr. and mrs. minecraft show up to self-checkout, and oh boy do they get mad. they're pissed, livid, fucking mad. and so begins the shouting match b/w mr and mrs minecraft and mr and mrs innit  
it can go two ways: either they disown him there and then, and give him a week to get his stuff from their house, or, someone records them saying stuff that can be used agaisnt them with the authorities. either way, tommy ends up with philza minecraft. :)

daymn yall really want Ranboo angst pfff

IM WORKING ON IT I SWEAR FDDNSNVJFB ITLL COME I PROMISE  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FEED ME WITH COMMENTS, I LOVE TO READ THEM. no seriously, they are the highlight of my day :))  
> drop any headcanons/ideas yall have for the AU and if there happens to be enough i might add a few in the next headcanon chap.  
> HYDRATE AND STAY SAFE YALLS :))))  
> link to the discord server :)  
> https://discord.gg/w9CwSK26mm  
> (copy and paste into browser)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is literally 53 comments on the last chap, and most of them are headcannons. so this is comment add ons PT.2 bc i love yalls ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO THANKFUL FOR ALL THE SUPPORT THAT YALL HAVE BEEN GIVING ME GASVFKHGBK, so i made this chap as kind of a thanks?  
> ive done one of these before, but this ones special to me bc the last chap got so much support! anyways more notes at the end, ENJOY!

this ones mine :)  
STREAMING CLIPS  
-the store has a twitch channel. this is the outcome  
-tubbo opening the freezer to see Awesamdude crunching on lettuce  
-quackity surrounded by the tallest members and he's crying  
-the stream is just 30 secs long and its just zoomed in on tommy tripping over a stand  
-tommy hanging on a door in the bathroom doing the best scooby doo impression on the planet the door breaks off and they run  
-phil falling out of the ceiling as disco lights flash and music blares  
-a series of wilbur just using people as an armrest  
-karl has a tattoo of the oreo box barcode, and uses it relentlessly  
-a series of ranboo popping up out of nowhere and scaring people (almost like he teleported)  
-tommy with tubbo on his shoulders t posing over the managers  
-Who ever was streaming walks into the backroom, and turns the camera only to see Tommy running from Purpled, Purpled then grabs a package of toilet paper and hucks it at Tommy.it nails him in the back of the head and he falls. Purpled turns towards the --camera, and slowly pulls out a box cutter. It ends with Antfrost screaming and running away.

Whimzee_Bee -  
-ranboo hearing something in the storage warehouse room (idk how store stuff works) and going to investigate. turns out someone abandoned their cats. dream comes to check on ranboo only to find him feeding cats with pieces of his sandwich he got from philza, the cats are really attached to ranboo and ranboo wants to take them home but due to his living situation, cant. ranboo freezes when he spots dream, and tries to hide the cats but dream already saw them and asks ranboo if he can see them, ranboo let him after dream promises he wouldn't hurt them. when asked for their names, ranboo replies, “Zuko, Enderpearl, Jeffrey and Patches,”  
-basically its the pet arc  
-And Dreams jus like, guess I gotta keep all these cats for these kids now bfjfjfbfng *theropay cats*  
-the cats are sometimes in the break room, usually near finals or someone's birthday.  
-niki decided to take zuko, the kitten. dream claimed the tabby, patches, and everyone knows that ranboo was attached to the last two, a Russian blue and a rag doll, so technically they are his but they reside at fundy's house for safe keeping  
-jeffrey the ragdoll is the softest and most friendliest, he doesn't mind being held and picked up. purfect kitty for an anxious kid  
·tommy likes dogs better but he is also mildly very attached to Jeffrey  
·tommy doesn't know how to interact with cats so they usually claw him or run away, but Jeffrey is a patient one.  
-niki thought that zuko was absolutely adorable and ranboo and niki bonded over the kitten, who was sick at the time ranboo found the cats.  
·niki and her roommate, puffy, took care of zuko, and puffy would bring zuko to the breakroom when someone had a rough day.  
-patches is just, collectively the store's mascot. she acts regal around the costumers the few times she's been out, and all the kids in the store love her. she is apparently hypoallergenic, and knows better than to jump on shelves or eat anything.  
-enderpearl is the smallest cat despite her age. she has some scars, but she is sweetest thing, though she hates eye contact. she likes climbing, and usually can be found perched on ranboo's shoulder when she is around him.  
·zuko and 'pearl gets along amazingly, and they are the most playful and active around each other

DispareBoi -  
-another one, new years day, grocery store closes and has a massive fuking party. tis about 1:00 am, most people r gone, some stay and clean up and shit, wilbur, fundy, and jack have drunk talk outside of store then someone comes out to see the drunk curb talking, so they have to stay up the rest of the night and take care of them- (reference to a drunk stream dat wilbur, fundy, and jack did)  
-also, they make some kind of "national furry day" in the grocery store, so fundy shows up to work one day and everyone has some kind of tail or headband with ears on it, or whiskers, then they chase fundy into a corner and shove him a fursuit and force him to be the stores mascot for a day cos "national furry day"  
-also, things get so complicated that they bring in a cork board into the break room and make a shipping wall/family tree thing  
-Wait omg it's a family tree and it has techno Wilbur and Tommy as Phils kids, (maybe even ranboo and tubbo) and Technos just like "there's no family dynamic" But then if someone is rearranging it and they try and move sbi around where they aren't "family" On the tree techno will beat there ass and make them put it back

Ana4evalove -  
-Techno makes fun of Dream because he's never seen him and his house so he calls him homeless. Dream gets mad and goes to the back of the store to make a toilet paper house and techno was spying on him.  
-Techno and Tommy were confronted by dream for an issue in the store [could be anything] and techno tells Tommy to not be scared cause dream's homeless.  
-So now Tommy anf Techno make fun of dream for being 'omeless. Sometimes phil and the dream team joins in on the joke. [Make it even funnier since sap. Bad. and george love to make dream angry]

YHN017-  
\- Eret once came into store in dresses before, the platform boots was sent to both Ranboo and Eret and they just, walk around. It scares everyone on how tall they are. Eret teaches Ranboo how to walk properly in the platform boots and now they can run in it. Imagine someone (tommy) screams while Ranboo runs w/ boots in all his 7'1 glory while Eret goes "THERE'S MY BOY!"  
-Pride month comes, Eret comes in with like full pride outfit and the strawberry dress and the whole store goes "PRIDE MONTH BI-KING/QUEEN HERE", everyone is very supportive. -Ranboo, Techno and Eret gets a picture w/ the crowns and go Crown Gang. It gets framed.  
Ranboo once tricked Eret into reading Shrek fanfiction. Badly written fanfiction. It was a weird day.  
"Welcome to Dream SMP! Where the store is normal, but the employees are not." - Ranboo to a confused, semi questioning customer while chaos reigns at the background.  
-Purpled corruption arc, I love it so much shjdjsd now i want more purpled and Punz stuff lol. I can only imagine this teenager just goes "do it I fucking d a r e you" and brains with a handscanner. Prolly goes "Hello dear customer may i have your fucking items now." dead pan voice and hands twitching and dark eyes like anime style before the robber goes threatening. Also prolly the one with martial art experience or fighting experience lol. Like, once he brains one he goes "who's next" in this voice that promises murder. Punz goes "oh shit purpled goes bat shit insane" from the counter but joins in as well.  
-Bad has both guns shooting and knife throwing experience. Imagine like, he gets a small knife or an oyster shucker from the cutlery section or the meat section and just throws in just a hair breaths from a robber and they piss their pants. The entire Badlands crew ends up throwing a bunch of shit at the robbers too. At least one person, or 3, gets brained by a whole head of lettuce.  
-L'Cast is a stream series of the employees by Hbomb. Use the fake fishing toy thats shoved at the back break room. Two random people in the breakroom, or he sees are interacting are interviewed. The mystery box vs one of phil's sandwiches or smth from the store or money. The mystery box is hidden in the store, and is either also smth from the store, hand made stuff, or a ticket (sees the maid thing from Fundy's and Ranboo's episode). Punz going deadpan when Hbomb ask for a toes cam.

External_Yelling -  
Purp’s little way of dealing with stress or whatever is screaming in the freezer, yeah? What if that kind of grew into a habit starting at home  
-Purpled’s parents aren’t neglectful per say, he still has food on the table, he’s got a roof over his head, and he doesn’t get yelled at or anything. So what’s there to dislike?  
-They’re mentally, physically, and emotionally distant; too caught up on dealing with work. The only times his parents and him interact is at dinner- and even that’s sometimes not even a thing that happens as they’re not home at night everyday of the week.  
-So obviously, the lack of people that care for him in his family would effect him at first, but over time he’s gotten “used to it” [he hasn’t. He’s just lying]  
-He’s not used to having the amount of friends he has at work so he comes off as a major loner since he doesn’t talk to anybody there much.  
-Man’s also doesn’t talk about his home life because he’s seen how Tommy and Ranboo’s families are and feels like e doesn’t get to complain about them considering he’s “not being neglected or anything”  
-He used to lock himself in the bathroom in his basement and scream, get his stress out there and cope with the lack of parents that care for their kid enough to stop working; but at some point the neighbors were getting suspicious so he stopped doing it there  
-Realizes the freezer is soundproof a few weeks later and dubs it his new screaming spot. He almost had a heart attack when George found him the first time.  
-Kinda mad that everyone started claiming the freezer as a screaming spot since it was always where he went  
-He comes into work on his birthday [which he highkey made sure to avoid telling 75% of the people there] obviously not in a great mood; so it’s nobody’s surprise that he ends up walking into the freezer  
-when nobody’s seen him for a long while but no one’s seen him leave the freezer either one of the managers heads into the freezer prepared to tell him off for not getting back to work  
-Yeah no instead he’s just fucking crying because the breaking point for him was that his parents didn’t even acknowledge that it was his birthday today. They’ve forgotten before- yeah, but this time they *knew* and just didn’t care.  
-He refuses to explain why and no one can convince him to spill  
-Teeny happy moment, his friends {Astelic, SammyGreen, GB80} come in to deadass buy a cake for his birthday to surprise him and he’s their cashier.  
-It’s the first time any of the regulars or the employees see Purpled smile at work and he’s in a good mood for the rest of his shift.  
-On his break his friends drag him to some place nearby to celebrate  
Ok off the birthday parents topic-  
-He’s the closest with the managers and everyone’s lowkey kinda jealous about that because they can’t get extensions on breaks or anything but if Purpled gives the managers a ‘five more minutes’ look he gets it  
-He actively avoids all the conflict that the store had; such as the wars and all that jazz  
-Remember when they build a dirt ball over his house on the smp? And they trampled his potatoes? That was just somebody stealing his lunch one day and they don’t let him into the freezer for a few days. (The corruption arc grows closer /j)  
-His fire scam of whatever he called the time he evicted Ant from his house was just him dragging Ant out of the freezer because it was his turn to scream at the top of his lungs in there  
-He joined a war once and promptly never joined again because he ended up getting hit so hard with a stale baguette that he got a concussion  
-Came in really tired once and all the regulars thought he was high  
-When a Karen was yelling at him that day it took him all his strength to not bash her over the head with a scanner. Instead he just went “paper or plastic bag ma’am?”  
-He doesn’t know who keeps putting sticky notes on his shit but doesn’t let that fact stop him from smiling the slightest whenever he sees one  
-Customers dub him the deadpan cashier  
-He’s a lot better at dealing with Karen’s than people think but whenever he can’t handle it Dream helps him out and Purp’s constantly grateful for that  
-They play hide and seek one time again and Purpled just goes on his phone and sits down in the break room, he ends up being the last one found and he just casually goes when they find him ‘oh we were playing hide and seek already? I thought we were just waiting.’

Anonymous-  
-I don't know why but I just imagine Techno coming one day in high heels that make him even taller than Sam, and Ranboo is like "no- I will be taller", and starts wearing the platform boots that make him like 7ft tall. Technoblade gets larger heels, so does Ranboo-  
-The cycle continues until Phil got angry at them because they were so tall that one trip could kill them  
-Also just imagine that the boots made Ranboo so tall that you can see him from isles away and whenever someone asks, the whole store just goes "Oh that's just an Ranboo but don't worry, he usually doesn't attack unless you look him in the eyes" and one kid just asked "like an enderman" and Ranboo has been deemed an enderman by the rest of the store.  
-And HBomb just came to the store one day in a maid dress with furry ears and tail and harassed Fundy all day and the managers did nothing because it was funny. This became a random occurrence and Fundy now just keeps a spray bottle in his locker for the next time he sees that infernal maid dress.

ToManyFandomss101 -  
-Omg on Ilovemygun all I can think about is the leader grabbing Tommy and everyone fucking freezes dream team is fucking frozen sbi is just growling Techno looks like he's gonna fucking murder them, Badlands are just shocked and then Tommy just freaking slams his head back and drop kicks this dude and sbi is so proud but also still shaking because they could have literally lost Tommy and dream teams just freaking out and thinking about how Tommy is getting a RAISE.

LetsKeepItRiel -  
-As we all know Dream SMP is a gathering of theater/theater (I'm asian there are Different ways to spell- I'm confused) kids  
\- so what if a child (maybe 7 yrs old or smth???) gets lost- that cliche when a kid gets lost and the mc has to help them with the male lead in romance shows but there is not romance here- no one even think about it!  
-So Tommy in his expertise in dealing with children which is non-existent sings a song too Cale them down- I'm too tired to think of one  
\- And the others go "Oh?" and join in  
\- So there's a kid crying for his parents and the staff surrounding said child in an ominous circle singing a song but it works???  
\- I know ur thinking "wouldn't they cry??" obvs but Tommy in his Main Character fashion pulls off a high note everyone is stunned and  
Okay I was watching a musical- so sue me!  
\- Lmao imagine Purpled T-posing (how ddi he go from most Sane person to the one closest to murder?? You okay bro?)  
\- Ranboo, Techno and Eret singing in MONOTONE WOOOO  
\- Niki and Wilbur just vibing  
\- Ponk and Ponz beatboxing  
\- Hbomb dramatically crying for this beautiful moment  
\- QUACKITY SINGING IN SPANISH  
\- The badlands recording  
\- Fundy trying to search for the parents  
\- George and Dream using to moment to stare at each other and jokingly flirt because the background music is good  
\- Sapnap giving up and searching for Karl who is dancing  
\- Tubbo hyping Tommy up  
\- Antfrost and other characters I'm too tired to list singing while pretending to summon a demon

Trublii -

\- every so often Kristin comes to check upon everyone in the store, and they all get suuuper excited  
-and I mean they get the place all tidy, the bakery dept makes a bunch of for her, and they’ll swap recipes  
-one day she gets out of the hospital for life surgery or something and when Phil takes her out for a surprise, they go to the store and everyone made a huge banner that just says ‘WELCOME HOME MUMZA’  
-and they all live happily ever after :)  
But wait there’s more  
-Kristin has one-on-one ‘therapy’ sessions witjthe employees where she just helps them out with anything they need and just serves as an outlet for everyone to info dump to her  
-Like the first week of Ranboo working there everyone was getting all excited about Kristin coming and he was all confused and stuff  
-when she arrived, Ranboo was all shy because, new people, no thank you, so Phil had to pretty much drag him out of his comfort zone, but he and Kristin soon became really close and she became as much of a mother to him as Phil was a father

TheAstro_Kat -  
-the Nov. 16th battle is like when there is a "war" and there is knocking over shelves while everyone is playing tag.  
-Tubbo found Ranboo in the bathroom at school once because he was feeling sick and passed out (malnutrition or something) and does what any sensible person would: call Philza. Dadza comfort  
-Purpled is getting mugged in an alley on his way to work, is so not having it, and knocks out 3 people, and Ranboo is standing there in shock  
-Phil's wings are just some gag gift he got for Christmas once, and almost always wears.  
-Tommy gets lost on his way to work, panics, calls Wilbur (accidentally calls him Wilby) and Wilbur gets him. sbi comfort

antarctic_empire_technoblade -  
-HEAR ME OUT JACK MANIFOLD  
-He always comes to work in a suit, and sunglasses, dream team have tried to get him to change he won't. He sometimes becomes a body guard when people harrass the other workers  
-He has set aside a tiny bit of the produce section as his own Manifold Land and patrols it like a king. Terrible with customers, probably should've gotten fired long ago, but he literally just won't leave. Also, Sapnap thinks he's funny so it's ok.

IrenicKefi -  
-I can imagine Tommy finding a loose floorboard in like a dark corner of the store and just straight up making a raccoon hole for himself under the store floor. Snacks and blankets are in there, somehow theres a tiny yellow painting on the wall. He’s made friends with the dust bunnies.  
-Techno’s just standing in the apple section and hears Tommy munching underneath him.

uni_sparkless -  
-I can just imagine when they’re playing tag that Ranboo just fits/hides in the most weird/cramped places, and everyone kinda just questions how he even hides there since he’s so tall, but eventually just get used to it. (They also had a really hard time finding him he first few times he joined in mcc shop mart thing edition. Also, he somehow fit under like a store shelf or something at one point, no one knows how he fit under there and got there to this day)

NHchannel-   
\- Dream found Tommy sick or some shit and went to call his parents, hesitated, and decided to call someone who's sleep schedule is fucked enough for them to be available. Followed by him and Techno trying to take care of a sick child before finally deciding to call Phil \- Wilbur once walked into the store very early to see Techno storing a lot of potatoes. Techno then revealed he hadn't left the store \- A moth got into the store once and some of the customers are freaking out. Tommy put it in a jar and named it 'Clementine'. A similar thing happened again with a bee and Tubbo named it 'Spins' 

(this one is just an answer to a question)  
-I feel like I missed it what was Tommy's equivalent for the discs?? Like Mellohi and Cat specifically

-He has 2 discs  
-One contains a copy of the whole store singing 'a song' in which everyone atchually tried, and its rumored to be amazing, very few have heard it as tommy keeps it close  
-And the other is a pre recorded copy of one of Wilbur's unreleased songs, it's a slow song, and Tommy LOVES it (he listens to it when he's stressed bc its calming af)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW THERES ALOT OF YOU, I LOVE YOU ALL JHDHFSBGJHRBB
> 
> anyways, most likely the last time i do this, (unless the same thing happens on this chap, in that case i might)
> 
> Comment your own headcannons down below! i literally love to read them and it gives me inspo for other oneshots!  
> (literarlly yalls comments give me so much serotonin, no matter the topic)
> 
> im so very sorry for not posting more oneshots, ive had online school for the past 2 weeks and its been kicking my ass. but now that school is open again ill be able to update/ post more often!
> 
> HYDRATE AND STAY SAFE YALLS :))))  
> link to the discord server :) (its not mine but im there all the time, along with so many other talented creators)  
> https://discord.gg/w9CwSK26mm  
> (copy and paste into browser)
> 
> go follow my Tumblr! - https://dream-smp-grocery-store-au.tumblr.com
> 
> HAVE A GOOD ONE :))
> 
> p.s. Mr.Beast coming soon to a store near you >:)


	6. WATER RISING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the water rising vid headcanon but its more fleshed out, still in point form tho
> 
> i made this on tumblr originally and decided that its long enough to put here. i plan on doing things like these more often! like just one prompt, but like a whole story planned out. i enjoy the way its shaped, and it really helps me get my butt into gear :))
> 
> (there is also some of yalls prompts at de bottom :)) (i fokin love em)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (causally updates headcannon fic, and nothing else but my connor angst being ready to go) "this is fine"  
> (causally ignores the fact that i have 3 unfinished wips in my drafts)  
> (causally ignores that its 2am and i have school tmrw)
> 
> ANYWAYS ENJOY AHAHAHA.....

Water rising video  
-so Wilbur and Schlatt made a water rising video, imagine that, but thier stuck in the backroom with a leak slowly filling up the hall, as the doors to the store are sealed

\- they cant get to the leak because its behind a locked door, which is connected to the shipment doors. and its not like they know how to fix it anyways.

\- shenagins insue, and they call Dream

-dream rushes over but cant get the shipment doors open as thier jammed.

\- he calls tommy, because the child probably knows a secret way in, even though its literally 2am. Tommy picks up with the groggiest h’low and Dream explains whats going on, and that he needs Tommys help fixing the leak bc he’s the only one thats fixed it before.

-mean while Schlatt and Will are just hiding ontop of stacks of boxes, and They start throwing shit at each other

-Tommy shows up like 15 mins later, without a ride and holding an energy drink. dream asks how he got there so fast, tommy responds with, my parents werent home, so i chugged two rockstars and sprinted. Dreams just standing there like O.O this child i stg...

\- Tommy walks up to the shipment doors, and dream stops him, saying their jammed. “thier always jammed bitch” as Tommy proceeds to just pull it open.

-Tommy hops onto the landing platform (their very high) and forgets that Dream is outside to help, and accidentally lets go and it slams shut. its not REALLY jammed. and Tommy is stuck in the pipe room, with a leak that he has to fix with new tools, (he reconsiders his life decisions) also the leak is conveniently spraying into the back room so it does not fill up his small area with water.

\- oh yea did i mention? Tommy is extremely claustrophobic, and considering the pipe room is literally a closet, it doesn't work out well.

\- Wil and Schlatt are talking to him while he fixes it, and Wilbur realises that Tommy is actually freaking out so much, he's just trying not to show it.

\- something happens, they hear a loud clang and the pipe thats leaking starts spouting water faster. Schlatts just like “welp guess were dying here” and walks away, prolly to sit in a freezer or smth.

\- Tommy starts really panicking as water starts seeping onto the floor because small spaces and all that, and Wilbur is just there, doing his best to confort this panicking kid, from behind a door, as he tried to save the fokin store.

\- Tommy ends up fixing the leak in record time, and Wilbur basically kicks down the door with Schlatt (the man found out abt the claustrophobia and was like oh shet) 

\- cue Will and Tommy hugs, and Tommy just being like pass out tired cause, its 2am, he was already sleep deprived, and he has school tomorrow.

-Will and Schlatt work together to open the shipment doors to let the water drain out, and Dream in now that they have access to them, and don't notice Tommy just disappearing

-when they realize tommy's gone, it doesn't take long for them to find him in a fuckin potato bin. like mans is just passed tf out in the large potato box, snoring. what can they say, he's a teenager.

-Wilbur quickly takes a pic before leaving Tommy there till their done, the kid need his naptime >:)

-Schlatt gets a new attachment to Tommy.

-Dream decides that mcdonalds would be fitting, so he,Schlatt, and Wilbur with an asleep Tommy in his arms go and get them fries.

-cue Tommy just, buckled in, in the back of Dreams truck, with his head on wilburs shoulder snoring softly. (they try not to ‘aw’ as to not wake the ‘child’ up.

-Tommy wakes up when he smells chicken nuggets, and Wilbur basically makes him stay at his apartment for the night.

-Techno is wondering where tommy is the next day, but when he walks into the breakroom, ad sees a new pic of Tommy passed out in a bin of POTATOES and knee deep water around him, he just freezes. (and then proceeds to take like a million pics of it on his phone)

YALLS COMMENTS ADD ONS (POG) thanks! (its 2am so i dident resize these like last time but oh well)

Dispareboi -  
jack walks in and wants to join but they start chasing after him pelting him with those small candys and gums you find at check out at him yelling he cant join cos hes not a minor

they decide to install small screens with the security cams on then throughout the store, someone in an aisle is restocking, decides to look up, someone else is adding "9" to aisle "6"

wilbur is taking some palets out out from a truck, one of the bolts is loose, its full of salmon and he collapses under the salmon, someone sees this (prob tommy) and calls him "the ladies man"  
rumor is he took one home (yes they dead) and they say he has a gf

an upcoming buisness sees this grocery store, and wanting to increase their buisness and profits, they offer to make lil figures of some of the people

valentines day roles around, they fancy up the store, and if someone from the store is dating/married to someone, they get to chill with their loved one for the day! (velvetfrost forever!)

one day, ranboos eye was a kidn of red (perhaps kind of puffy?), and a customer (coincedentaly was a doctor) said it was pink eye, and his parents being out of town, the store quarantined the break room and made it comfy so he just stayed there (ofc getting proper medical attention, he went and got it checked out) and when someone ever went in, they over-exaggerated it and put on hazmat suits and everything. he recovered eventually, but something weird happened and now his right eye is always a bit red

lynzzzzzzzzzzz (creeper_jeeper) -  
\- when they were kids tubbo brought tommy three cow plushies for christmas and tommy names it henry, harold, harvey.  
\- they become tommy comfort item when he sad and he keeps them in his raccoon hole  
\- but then sapnap finds the raccoon hole basically kidnaps them since tommy was bothering him  
\- so tommy has no idea where they are  
\- so he runs to the bakery where tubbo at and starts crying  
\- tubbo has no idea what happening so he calm tommy down and makes some honey cookies  
\- as they are eating the cookies tommy tells tubbo what happens  
\- soon they find out that sapnap has it from niki and try to make him give it back  
\- but sapnap fvcking cuts them open and kills them like octavian in percy jackson  
\- so three days tommy sad  
\- but then tubbo buys tommy a new smaller plushie (that tommy can keep in his pockets) and they name it m.h. (aka mushroom henry)  
\- m.h. becomes tommy new comfort item  
\- so tommy starts to become happy again  
\- but then dream found it on the floor when tommy dropped it by accident and gives it to drista because why not  
\- tommy cant find it and gets very sad again  
\- so wilbur and tubbo tries to help since they know it important to him  
\- so they go around the store asking everyone in the store where m.h. is  
\- then they get to dream  
\- and then dream remember that he gave it to drista  
\- so they have to convince drista to give it back  
\- she says no at first, until she finds out that tommy was in the burst in tears  
\- so she gives it back to tommy and then tommy is happy again

IrenicKefi -  
-Nightmare Baguette, Dream has a baguette he named “Nightmare” thats just so incredibly burned that its pitch black and hard as a rock. Sometimes he smashes cardboard boxes and large trash with it before dumping the stuff  
-Everyone laughed at it at first because of the name until they saw him utterly destroy an unsellable printer with it  
\- Dream also has a tiny tranquilizer gun in his desk that he uses on the occasional mouse so he can just put’em outside  
\- Dream lends his tranq gun to Tommy for like, 2hrs to use on an aggressive street dog in his neighborhood and Tommy somehow lost it one his way back to the store  
\- On national furry day Tubbo wears an antenna and bee wings, he also tapes a thumbtack to his tailbone, because why not  
-Somebody has the terrible idea of a “bring your pet to work day” and the tragedies that followed were equally terrible, to this day that day has been a first and last “bring your pet to work day”  
\- Eret wearing a ring with a flower pattern on a good day thats also a she day, she wears the ring on her middle finger.  
\- Niki has a matching flower ring  
\- Eret and Niki being Bakery Brethren, Pastry Pals, Cookie Cousins, Oven Allies, Dough Danes, Bakery Buddies.

External_Yelling -  
-Purp had the flower crown on and was in a decently good mood when he had been approached by the Karen so obviously his whole demeanor felt less like the usual ‘I’d kill everyone here and then myself’ vibe

-She starts complaining while his back is still somewhat to her so when she’s all like ‘look at me when I’m talking to you!’ He just turns around and gives her his usual dead stare and goes “There. I’m looking” and she’s so caught off guard that she stutters out a confused ‘what’

-Tommy witnessed this and laughed harder than he thought he would because watching Purpled just completely confuse Karen’s is fantastic

The bulletin board one

-although people know he set them up, nobody has realized yet that the sticky notes with doodles of the employees that appear everyday are from him too

they’re just half asses doodles of the others that he doesn’t put much effort into because it takes too long

-Doesn’t know why he does it but it kinda helps him show that he appreciates them without having to say it verbally. Because ew, verbal affection

-Nobody knows that he’s the one drawing them even though they appear before anyone gets there the next day. He just lurks in the shadows the man is invisible on cameras at this point

-it’s a slightly softer side of him that doesn’t end up shown because he always looks and feels ready to commit mass murder

-Niki catches him doodling one of the sticky note drawings one time since he does it when no one else is in the breakroom and he promptly slammed his hand over it when she spoke up

-He was ready to threaten her not to say anything about it but she complimented his work and promised not to tell anybody that he’s the doodler

-Purp left a less rushed/half assed sticky note for her the day after and watching her get all excited made him feel good

-Someone also saw him smile the slightest at her reaction but once it was mentioned promptly got elbowed hard in the ribs because ‘No❤️‘

Irisess -  
The Vlog gun  
-Ok so like this kinda of a different version of tommy’s vlog but the group kind of head out to just hang out on a weekend because they just felt like it  
-Tommy gets the vlog gun, and then takes it to work with him the next day  
-Chaos ensues, he starts shooting peopple with it and and laughs like the little gremlin he is  
-everyone says it’s annoying, but actually find it pretty funny  
-it’s kept in the break room, and sometimes Wilbur will threaten Tommy saying he will smash it, but never actually does, because he doesn’t have the heart to (though he has slightly broken it once)  
RANBOO RANBOO RANB—  
-While ranboo is working his first day of the job, I kinda imagined dream just following him around while hiding, and ranboo’s just like “What is he doing???” And dream will like sometime thrown something at him like a box or something and ranboo’ll just be like “DOES HE LIKE ME OR NOT??? and go p a n i k  
-when ranboo is like really stressed with something, he might start making little noises or something and get all jumpy  
-ranboo might be getting yelled at by someone and techno’s just like n o, and will defend him from whoever is mad at ranboo  
\- Ok but what if ranboo just found ranbunny like near his house right? And then just says this is mine now and takes it to work, and everyone’s just like “more pets?” But let him keep it in the break room since it makes him happy :]  
-Maybe ranboo’s parents come back home, just to leave the next day, and ranboo gets really sad, Phil notices, and comforts him :D

IchiroKuraosa -  
Techno sometimes brings a baguette shaped like a sword, like, hilt and everything. It does damage but not life-threatening (even tho techno did go rip and tear on a small group of thugs that were tryna mug him when he was just taking out the garbage since he had nothing to do)  
The store is usually closed on major events like the 16th and The Fall  
The Fall is where the entire store got trashed because yes (cleanup took 19 hours btw)  
Hermitcraft and other SMPs are just other stores nearby where Iskall made a visit because Fundy needed help with something electrical  
Mr. Beast just pops in and drops a 10k taco bell gift card somewhere in the store because he's rich and has nothing else to do  
Techno wears pig hoof high heels to work when he feels like it  
When Techno encounters a Karen he just says in the most monotone voice possible to leave the store  
(pog)

SoulStorm1100 -  
Techno's Axe:  
-The Axe of Peace was actually just a deformed baguette that Techno picked up one day and proceeded to bap anyone and everyone with for an entire day  
-It's called the Axe of Peace because it's ironic and Techno thought it was funny  
-He gives it to Tommy one day but then it gets thrown at someone during one of the wars and after the clean-up it's gone  
-Ranboo, the horrible baker that he knows he is, makes an intentionally deformed and burnt baguette to replace it  
-Techno gets attached to Ranboo and, although he feels mildly threatened by the fact that he's taller than him, would kill somebody for this kid

The Wives Incident  
-Tommy and Wilbur were teasing Phil about having a wife, unaware that Kristin was in the break room and able to hear them just fine  
-They get to the part where Tommy asks how to get rid of a wife without the spouse knowing and Kristin bursts of the the break room screaming "NO, PLEASE" in the most devastated voice  
-Everyone who can hear them is terrified for a moment until Wilbur starts laughing  
-A couple of non-regular customers are legitimately worried until they hear Tommy going on about how they need to cut wives down with a lawnmower (at which point they know *cough cough desperately hope cough* that it's a joke)

Drista:  
-Drista comes by the store occasionally to cause chaos  
-She doesn't work there but she has access to all the same stuff Dream does because sibling privileges™  
-She climbed on top of a display of goldfish crackers and proclaimed herself "the Alpha Male"  
-Tommy then promptly pushed her off the display  
-Drista acted all injured and Tommy got really worried before she revealed that she was fine  
-Drista still teases Tommy about him being "soft" but she is secretly very heartwarmed  
-She wrote her name in sharpie on the wall in one corner of the break room. By the time an adult saw, it was too late to scrub it off and nobody's bothered to paint over it  
-She once locked Techno out of the store in the middle of his shift  
-She also once gave a couple of random employees keycards, much to the displeasure of Dream  
-The people she gave them to hid them away before Dream could take them back but they never actually use them out of respect for Dream (they just hold the knowledge over everyone's head that they *could* use them- who are we kidding it's bragging rights that's all it is we all know it)

Misc:  
-They have a picture of Phil standing next to one of the refrigerators in the freezer aisles captioned "true love"  
-Whenever Tubbo opens the cabinet that is filled with bee stickers he gasps and goes "Bees!" even though everyone knows full well he put them there

Thisketchuptospicy - (shout out to them for revealing thier 25k essay of purpled oneshots (i love the ideas btw)  
-yk how someone talked about Purpled not being able to talk about how he feels about his parents since tommy and ranboo in his eyes have it worse? maybe one day he just ends up snapping while at the register, and just being like "fuck everything is shit right now", and the whole store trying to be supportive but confused af-

-purpled goes out with Astelic, SammyGreen, and GB80, to a playground at like 4am near the store, where they play 'bedwars' which is really just them running around trying to steal bandanas/napkins from eachother and pushing eachother off of things.

-one day when purpled and everyone were playing 'bedwars', they didnt realize it was getting so late, and the store was opening soon, so Dream drove past them doing god knows what on the playground and was just thoroughly confused throughout the entire day.

-one day Purpled was just having a shit day and really needed to go in the freezer and just scream, but it was under maintenance, so he just ended up going to the breakroom and just letting it all out. Which since the break room isnt completely sound proof, it just echoed through the store, leaving a concerned but supportive staff.

-ghostburs blue is just expired blueberries that he found in the break room, everyone is extremely confused but just accepts it.

-tommy once got dared to lick the bottom of the break room table and he had to get sent home for a few days just because of how rancid it was.

-adding on to another comment i saw about purpled hyperfocusing (idk if thats even a word-) on cleaning the break room. One day after everyone found out ofc, he does it again, but this time he ends up really tired by the end of it (everyone was being an absolute nightmare mess that day) and he just ends up sleeping in a cabinet, and everyone the next day is like 'wtf???'.

-niki seeing someone having an off day and just leaving a pastry near where they work/in the fridge near there stuff.

-one day a squirrel got stuck in the vents and the teens spent a solid day just hitting the vent duct with a broom tryna see if that would scare it off.

-hbomb actually came into the store in a maid dress and just annoyed the shit out of fundy for a while.

-once some lady tried to come up to purpled and tried to complain, so he just laid his face on the conveyor belt thing and just groaned for a solid minute until she shut up and left.

-purpled angst cus i feel like it; purpled feels like quitting because even though he doesn't speak a lot to other people in the store, he still likes being semi included sometimes (even after the baguette thing), and everyone is just busy doing there own thing, he feels completely alone and isolated. Some of the regulars notice this and are like 'hey whats up with him? he seems more dead then usual' to the managers, and they just kinda shrug. Well that was until they found a drafted resignation letter in the trash in the break room, signed by Purpled, and are like uh oh bad no and try and make him feel like he belongs.

-they get banned on twitch once by accident and everyone causes such an up roar that its almost immediately fixed.

Fateweaver -  
\- L'Manberg vs Dream Team SMP is literally just a constant prank war/intentionally annoying the other side. Tommy or Tubbo or both hangs around corners and whenever they see anybody from the Dream Team SMP walk past stick their leg out. They mastered the art of tripping people and timing it perfectly.  
\- Mars is a goldfish Sapnap won from like a carnival or something and is ridiculously attached to  
\- Quackity one day shows up face painted with the Mexican flag, has a bag full of sugar but he insists is cocaine and a box of tacos. He starts a "Drug business" and getting George and Sapnap on sugar high as Dream pretends to be the police and chasing them around the store while everyone else watches and wheeze

might as well toss my headcanon from last chap or so here:  
\- Tommy knocks out a female robber when the store was robbed and impulsively without thinking says "Just killed a woman, feeling good"

Peachtea -  
-Dream decides to prank Tommy one day by taking one of his discs (the one with Wilbers song) and hiding it.  
-tommy was already having a bad day at this point and when he realizes the disc is gone has almost a full on break down in the break room.  
-like bad enough that he won’t let anyone near him and even snaps at Tubbo when he tries to help.  
-Tubbo radios Wilber and Phil to try and help calm Tommy down because he knew they were the only two Tommy would let in his general vicinity.  
-Phil takes the lead going into full on dad mode helping him calm down enough for Tommy to tell the two what’s going on.  
-Phil and Wil are livid when they find out what happened because they know tommy would never misplace that disc so someone must have tampered with it.  
-cue Phil ordering tubbo to get the entire store to search for the disc.  
-meanwhile Wilber gets his guitar and plays the song for tommy knowing he listens to it when he’s stressed.  
-Dreams been in the background watching the damage he’s caused and feels hella fucking guilty so he immediately gets the disc and try’s to play it off like he was the one that found it.  
-everything calms down except Phil glaring at dream for a while because he knows. He definitely knows.

-no one ever messed with Tommy’s discs after that

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE IDEAS YALL I LOVE THEM :)))))))))))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if i missed some of yalls comments! i usally try to get them all, unless its just like a convo, or has already been said!
> 
> put comments of ideas down below! i love yalls thoughts, ideas, and add ons for the au!
> 
> tumblr: https://dream-smp-grocery-store-au.tumblr.com
> 
> i post way more on my tumblr, and it would mean alot to me if yall checked it out! :))
> 
> HYDRATE AND... GOOD NOIGHTT (or morningidk)


	7. NOTE/UPDATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOTE

IM BACK ON MY BULLSHIT... :DDD

so i've been really inactive for quite awhile, and its just been because of finals :)

just a note that i will be getting back up and posting again more frequently for yalls! (even on my other fics, *le gasp*)

i really do love writing fics for this, and can't wait to interact more!

sorry for the new chapter, just wanted to update yall on what's going on!. :))

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dream-smp-grocery-store-au

TUMBLR - https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dream-smp-grocery-store-au

anyways, see yall sooooon


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ik this took a long time... MY BAD PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
> 
> ALSO THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT, and overall just commenting ideas, or just saying that you like the AU!!! it makes me so fokin happy that i cant even explain it dfjghftgkeug
> 
> anyways enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shout out to the writers block discord for helping me with these ideas!!! couldn't have done it without em :D
> 
> (its an amazing community and I do recommend joining :))
> 
> link at bottom :DDDD

-FUNDY AND RANBOO BONDING IVER BAD PARENTS, I REPEAT-  
-fundy saying something concerning about his childhood and ranboo nodding along like its normal and everyone else is like "no???"  
-"when you think someone broke into your house but actually your parents are just home for the first time in a month" -Ranboo "omg rightttt" -Fundy  
-Phil is jus standing there like o_o  
-"I'm adopting you right now, STOP RUNNING GET BACK HERE"  
-"Someone broke into my house and LEFT food?!?!?!" The managers slowly turn around and speed walk away

GAME NIGHT  
-Fundy hosts a game night as a house warming party (Wilbur prolly told him too)  
-Everyone comes, all bringing multiple games and movies with them\  
-The first game played is ‘spoons’... now if youve ever played spoons, you can probably assume what happenes  
-They were out of spoons (fundy did not have any) when setting up the game, so they used forks instead…  
-They have to stop playing the game after a while bc it got so competitive that the table ended up flipped and like 2 ppl got shanked.  
-Monopoly but everyones cheating exept for Ranboo  
-Tubbo is the most corrupt banker and ends up scamming like everyone a least twice  
-The whole gang is playing, they all end up silently realizing that Ranboo was the only one not cheating, the lanky kid was clueless. He was so nervous abt coming that he ended up just assuming that that what the game was, as hes never played before.  
-There is a silent agreement to help Ranboo win, and everyone starts just like sneaking him money, under the table.  
-The game ends as Philza ends up making it to the end. Ranboo is shook that literally everyone else somehow went bankrupt and he won with 500’000 dollars left. Its not like hes ever played monopoly before so hes just like O.O as everyone hypes up his win  
-The Badlands pull up like an hour late  
-Fundy opens the door for them and they're just chilling in the hall with a whole ass couch.  
-Fundys apartment is on the 7th floor…  
-Skeppys jus like ‘sorry were late here a house warming gift.’  
-Wilbur had stepped out into the staircase to catch a breath, and saw the badlands vertically pushing the couch up the staircase.  
-Like they had it wedged between the middle gap of the staircase and were pushing it from the bottom. Wilbur took a pic and RAN.  
-They all end up watching a movie together, Tommy and Sapnap almost scream the whole lyrics of ‘man or muppet’ when it plays, they get through shrek and mean girls before people begin to fall asleep.  
-Tommy falls asleep on the couch squished between Wilbur and Grorge, Tubbo who had been sitting on the floor between Tommys legs (because Tommy wanted to put little braids in his hair) was passed out slouched on the floor, Ranboo was still awake, stuck beside Techno and Phil on the love seat focused on the movie but had started to dose off, then ends up resting his head on Technos shoulder without even realizing it. The Dteam are all passed out on Dream, leaving the man almost pinned to the floor.  
-Fundy just starts to tear up, hes never had… connections like this before. At first his house had felt empty, and cold, and now? Its never felt more like what homes are supposed to be like. He had found himself a family, and he couldn't be happier.

PLANT IN BREAKROOM (derived from lightninmoth )  
-Been there since tommy was hired  
-Its named the L’mantree (after the Grocery dept)  
-Like one leaf falls off bc they didnt water it for like a week and they hold a funeral  
-Niki accidentally burns it after trying to prank Wil  
-Techno walks in to see a terrified Niki holding a flaming plant, yells “ANARCHY” and promptly leaves the room.

HALLOWEEN  
-The store allows for costumes on halloween night  
-fundy in fox ears, niki is an angel, purpled, tommy and tubbo as the powerpuff girls, maid costume dteam, eret and techno are in matching king costumes.  
-phil is dressed as his the person his minecraft character is based on, ponk is a ninja, schlatt is the devil  
-techno and eret keep finding taller boots, it's an unspoken war that they have on who can be taller.  
-Quackity and George at some point change into simpsons costumes and act in character  
-Hbomb is a catmaid ofc and wont leave Fundy alone  
-Sam turns into Sam Nook and somehow gets Tommy to actually do work

EXTRAS  
-people on shelving duty have a competition to see who can shelve more and they keep a counter and Dream has to stop it because they make it look like they never sell anything  
-Phil makes himself a little corner in his deli that he drags the kids into at lunch under the guise that hes lonely but secretly all the adults know its so that the kids have a chance to vent to phil and they don't bottle up their emotions  
-theres a sign that they put on the break room door for when people are sleeping or doing work or don't feel well  
-ranboo for some reason can always get things off the top shelves, seeminly without ladders  
-Ranboo will also just randomly turn a corner and be gone. like someone could be following him, he would turn a corner, the follower would look and mans just gone. And he’ll just reappear on the other end of the store, usually scaring the shit out of ppl.  
-the cashiers have started a game where they throw little things like pen caps at each other between customers, one day tommy fills in for someone who's sick and it turns into an all out war. Quackity and Tommy are just hucking larger and larger items over customers heads at each other.  
-karl started playing a prank where he slowly messes with the break room clock by a few minutes at a time until hes caught and then someone gets his phone and password and every time he falls asleep they do the ame to his phone clock. dream deadass just hacks his phone and sets the most random alarms  
-another office thing, Karl and Quackity sneak an ungodly amount of whisky into Schlatts coffee one day, the man somehow dosnt notice and promptly passes out like half an hour later

TOMMY LIGHTNING  
-tommy almost gets struck by lightning when returning the carts in the parking lot one day  
-it scares the shit outta him, and hes really shaken up about it  
-also welders flash might set in on tommy, where like smth is so bright that after like half an hour after he sees the lightning like he can't really see that well  
-george goes outside to find tommy soaked and crying and half blind  
-George radios Dream and Phil to the front to help him deal with the crying child  
-Phil and Dream end up helping Tommy up into the break room, and George just stands at the entrance not knowing what to do, so he just stress buys all of Tommy's fav foods and piles them onto the breakroom table

NIKI TEACHES CHILDS HOW TO FROST- FT GRANDMAS  
-Niki takes a day and teaches the kids how to decorate cupcakes, ther're absolutely awful but she oust them on display anyways, but as soon as they leave she takes them off and spends the day quietly distributing them to the rest of the employees  
-someone, i bet phil, takes a picture and it ends up on the photo wall, and there is just frosting everywhere-  
-the ones they didnt put in the breakroom, they put on the shelves. and when nikki checks on the case again the are all GONE  
-somehow the regular grannies caught wind of their fav children making cupcakes, and almost fought on who got to buy them  
-in the end the bakery may now be absolutely covered in flour and icing, but at least they made like the Grandmas happy  
-the Grannies come in one day with a bunch of baked goods for the employees, as a thanks for brightening their boring day  
-the grannies give new employees welcome gifts, ranboo fully cries when he gets his, he's never had grandmotherly affection  
-They make scarfs for everyone and the grannies get together to make ranboo one the same height as him, if not longer, and its all red and green and has black and white mixed in-  
-the grannies seeing some employees not decked up properly during the winter and coming in with hats and scarves and gloves  
-they just carry around bags in their cars, see a new guy, text group chat of other grannies "we need to make some more stuff for the new guy, think he likes (fills in random color here)"  
-the grannies being like "them, must make scafts and hats and gloves for them, they are adorble and must be protected-"

FINALE  
-The store fucking explodes (i was forced into this /j)

YALLS HEADCANNONS TIMEEE :DDDDDDD

DispareBoi  
so, yall know cogchamp smp?  
-well, basically its the store's last resort when it comes to technical stuff  
-handyman to expensive? oh! ill just call 5upp and crumb, they can help with the technical stuff, and just extra stuff in the backround.  
-ranboo stuff!  
he has a little comfort room, which u get to by pushing a losse board in a cupboard in the bakery, then crawl thru this space to get to ranboos comfort room! remember the pet arc? well, he adopted enderchest, and sometimes pet food is left in the break room cos the other cats, so he keeps a supply there, and he keeps enderchest there with some toys he made in art class or smth.  
-tubbo and ranboo podcast  
tubbo and ranboo if they both have late shifts, will just work together, or chill while the other one works and they talk about random shit  
sometimes they film themselves, other times theyll take security footage and make it into this podcast  
they call it "grocery store lore". they also just update people on wats going on in the store  
-Wandering_Warlock - One day 5upp gives Fundy a flower and from then on the two are absolutely smitten with each other.

AsterChonk0 >  
-purpled and crackers. just, dunno. he usually always eats crackers for break, and you can tell how bad of a mood he's in by the way he either nibbles on them or fucking chomps them.  
-their usernames are just codenames they've chosen for themselves while they talk over the walkie-talkies. also their minecraft usernames  
-puffy!! puffy's this veteran kind of customer who tries for a spot and gets it :D like the sbi, she's with the dteam (she calls dream duckling you can't say she doesn't call the others pet names too)  
-techno decking a man trying to hit on a woman when she's clearly preggo and wilbur cheering on him (funny thing this happened in the cereal section)  
-tubbo, tommy, ranboo, purpled and drista all collectively plan pranks on everyone, and get away with it. like those mfs got shit on everyone; wilbur joins them too because it's fun to blackmail people <3  
-black friday sales,,,,, they would take almost a full day to clean the shop and take 2-3 days off.  
-dre, gogy and snapmap all live in a shared house where everyone pays rent but dream just, doesn't even let them.  
-again, back to my 'tommy's shitty parents get doxxed' headcanon (NOT IRL JUST FOR THE AU) we're gonna go back. tubbo and ranboo suspect hEAVILY VERY HEAVILY that someone been harming tommy, but the only ones they tell are drista and purpled (minor gang pog). they confront him in school one day, and he just breaks down (haha im da angst man!)  
-one of tommy's classmates visit the store and they see him and are like "??? you work in this crack place???" to which tommy wants to punch them, this place is his home bitch, but he deadpans "yeah, i know, it's fucking lovely, innit?"  
-THEY START CALLING HIM TOMMY'INNIT' BECAUSE HE SAYS INNOT A LOT INSTEAD OF ISN'T IT GOD I AM SO GENIUS  
-haha them forgetting that tommy's the youngest until the Shit™ shows up  
-wilbur soot has taught tubbo ukulele change my mind-  
-techno taught tommy to fight with a hard baguette  
-think someone's done this, but moth. there's a moth following quackity and tommy just points it out. quackity starts screaming shit and praying in spanish like he does while tommy just raises his hand for the moth to sit on. takes the moth to the breakroom, and names it 'clementine'  
-tommy adopting animals out of the blue??? he's like this disney princess that's an animal magnet, and during break he always has an animal with him  
-this man loves raccoons like have you seen their tails and how smart they are???  
-wilbur and dream share a distaste for them but they like to see tommy happy  
-"take your child to work day" is actually "embrace the furry within you day"  
-karaoke nights???? usually george lets a few people into the intercom room and tells them to "go wild". he doesn't regret it.

Skycastle >  
-Purpled parents live in the same neighborhood as Dream's family, so Dream would babysit Purpled when he was in high school  
-Purpled's parents like Ranboo's are often not home. They're often on business trip a lot or outings. When he was younger they would spend a day with Purpled to make up for it but as Purpled got older his parents left more often and longer and those days just stop. They're also emotionally distant from him. Dream would be the one to take care of him when they left.  
-Purpled isn't social, while he plays Minecraft with Andrew, Sammy, and Astelic he doesn't see them as friends. Andrew's in university, Sammy's in Australia and while Astelic is at his school they never talk.  
-Dream has his house key in case of an emergency he also gave Purpled his number to stay in contact. But Purpled barely used it after Dream moved away he felt that Dream would be to busy to care.  
-They two have a brother relationship and Purpled is attached to Dream even though he denies it :)  
-Dream talks about Purpled a lot to his co-workers before Purpled got hired to the point Punz who never seen him could tell right away who Purpled was (Purpled says he hates it but he doesn't).  
-Purpled get sick easily, nothing life threatening but most of the time he needs to stay home.  
-After seeing Sapnap have a breakdown/panic attack last year Dream gave him an extended break around midterms to prevent him from being overworked.  
-When board Tommy and Tubbo will stack products up in a tower in the middle of the aisle after Purpled and Ranboo joined they started helping.  
-Phil is everyone's dad he tries to stop them from calling him dad but gave up after a week.  
-Tubbo will make bee analogy whenever he can  
-Dream has a Minecraft server that the entire staff and Schlatt uses whenever they want.  
-While Purpled does appreciate his friends there are times where their chaos get to much for him and he need a break, this is one of the reasons he goes into the freezer to scream

Ryukon > (I SEE WHUMP OPROTUNITY)  
-Mexican L’manburg is just Sapnap, Quackity, and George hanging out in the ceiling  
-When Tommy was “exiled” Quackity showed up again with face paint and they messed around during their shift while Dream watched  
-At the end of their shift, Dream whacked Quackity over the head with Nightmare and knocked him out (He didn’t mean to hit him that hard, he swears!)  
-Dream just threw an unconscious Quackity over his shoulder and left him slumped over the table in the break room

Tea-ranny >  
-they have a small garden somewhere in the store, where they have Ponk's lemon tree, and a potato farm that techno and purpled both take turns caring for as they both have potato farms.  
-Purpled has sculpting/woodworking or something like that as one of his electives, and made the UFO and it usually sits in the break room somewhere.  
-Bad knows how to needle felt and makes dolls of the other workers that are probably displayed in the break room  
-Drista and Tommy's shoe store thing is basically them stealing people's shoes and making them go to a fort of cans in an aisle to bargain for them back.  
-Hound army is a bunch of stray dogs that follow Techno around sometimes cause he feeds them.

DurkleRurple >  
The prison is just Sam's locker he emptied and now locks people in there if they're misbehaving. Everyone bullied Dream when he was put in there after messing up the grocery section and almost killing Tubbo in the process by knocking over a shelf

alternal >  
-I can just imagine one time wilbur just starts playing 100 gecs (he has confirmed he does. like them) and when everyone asks why he's like "well a bunch of people looked like they just came out of hot topic so i decided to play what they play over there"  
-also cogchampsmp is just. 5up, fundy, ranboo, sam, tubbo, and crumb making a bunch of machines (once fundy made tommy an able sosters music box, tommy calls him "the only good furry")  
they're currently trying to automate scanning and they're having a competition on who can make the most efficient one :]  
-also wilbur records songs in the freezer sometimes  
-once someone walked in and he just said "cut that bit out" but kept it in the song (since i saw vienna)  
-also i can just see phils name tag is just vandalized with a small minecraft on the bottom and everyone just ran with it

RiverLightning >  
-Some cleaners from this prestigious "mightier than thou" company that basically sponsor the grocery store show up randomly because ppl from said prestigious company are coming to inspect the store.  
-(The company is literally a bunch of jerks who want good people to suffer.)  
-Anyways, they come in, much to the managers annoyance, and demand the store to be closed the next day for cleaning. They keep insisting that the cleaning must happen or else the store would close.  
-Dream is able to push the cleaning to a few days later, in order for the store to prep.  
-Later that day, when the cleaners leave, Dream gets a very interesting business proposal via email.  
-Anyways, the store closes, the cleaners come in, and things go downhill real quick.  
-They constantly remind Dream that, "they're the professionals, not you" and "we know what's best, stop trying to tell us how to do the job."  
-Easy to say Dream doesn't like them and is struggling to hold his temper.  
-The cleaners walk around, inspecting the place and judging literally everything. They reorder the shelves, messing up inventory. They judge the employees, scoffing at the minors. They create a hassel for everyone involved.  
-Soon enough the cleaners come to the break room. Now, Dream specifically said not to touch the break room, not to even step in there.  
-Of course the cleaners didn't listen.  
-In the end, the cleaners end up taking multiple things either personal or of sentimental value and throwing them in a trash bag, which is thrown into the garbage.  
-They've taken the comfort blanket Niki had bought/made, they took off the bees, they threw out some of Purpled's extra hoodies, they even threw out Tommy's backpack, which held a very important English assignment worth a good amount of his final grade.  
-One of the minors see the cleaners walk out with a large trash bag. They raced in and saw everything gone. They immediately go tell Dream.  
-Dream's ticked, to put it nicely. He confronts the cleaners, who shrug and say, once more, "we're the cleaners, we know what we're doing."  
-The cleaners are known to have a record of never being fired or thrown out. So when Dream says that they are, they're mad.  
-After a large argument, the cleaners leave with promises of the "big guys" hearing about this and how the sponsorship was important to the store.  
-Smirking, Dream talks about the business proposal he had gotten a few days prior. A company called Noxite wanted to sponsor them. Dream broke his current sponsorship, kicked the cleaners out, got back the personal/sentimental items, and that was that.

lightninmoth >  
\- Before he got a flat he used to live in his car and he never told anyone cause he never saw it as an issue and he was gonna get a flat when he had enough money anyway so why tell anyone.  
\- Scamdy, just, him saying he'll give the others smthing for a certain price and scamming the sht outta them.  
\- Fundy also works at a bakery/dessert place (I'm think smthing like Kaspers but idk if they're only in my area or the whole world) that's where the cogchamp people are and Fundy gets surprised when he sees Sam, Ranboo, and Tubbo start working there.  
\- He originally works night shifts/early af morning shifts because his sleep squedual does not exist.  
\- He steals expired/almost expired food when he's told to take them off the shelves because free food is better than no food. (he once took like a good portion of food that there was an investigation because none of it went to where the other expired food goes, he was never found out.)  
\- Idk why my brain is so latched onto this idea of Fundy having money issues and living in his car but it is and I can't stop it, aaa.  
\- 5up has come to the store a couple times (he's a regular customer at this point) and gave Fundy a rose and generly compliments him and honestly the customers have no clue whether they're dating cause they constaly flirt or jdut good friends, it's even worse at the bakery job lmao.  
\- People joking around to deal with trauma (or whatever) adn not realising Fundy is not okay™ and he just leaves :(  
\- Him going live for 7 hours, getting drunk, sleeping for 10 hours, having two burgers for breakfast and then going live again was him having a seven hour shift getting drunk with the cogchamp (the ones that are legal age anyway) sleeping through his one free day and getting woken up by someone calling him saying they needed him in as a replacement and him eating almost expired burgers he found at work.  
\- The flying strider thing and the taxi business was him in the roof and Ranboo holding onto a rope for dear life. They terrified a couple people with a 6'6 dude swinging towards them and an insane laugh coming from the ceiling.  
\- Flying Fundy but it's him sitting on the top shelves with Ranboo & Hbomb laughing whilst Quackity yells at him to get down because it's 'his land'.  
\- I just want Fundy angst because for someone reason I love hurting the fox man so uh Fundy thinking he was boutta get fired cause he was caught taking the almost expired things and stuffing them in his pockets feat. panic attack in freezer.  
\- I imagine him and Dream having a whole wedding in like the bread section (don't ask me why bread) and then George appearing out of nowhere and stealing Dream with Sapnap yelling at George about him ruining his baby's big day, it's chaos and everyone gets into a character of ~shock~ (also the iconic "Love is dead" line we love that).  
\- Tommy throwing grapes or smthing at the wedding.  
\- the ring is one of those rings from a haribo packet.  
\- his insanity arc was him not sleeping for 3 or more days and coming into work and drinking whatever energy drink he could get off the shelf that wouldn't be missed, he went a bit crazy that day, it was scary.  
\- Fundy: Yea my mother ran off before I could get any memories with her and my father died cause his father killed him and then my uncle wanted to kill me but my other uncle tried to kill him but neither of that worked out so the uncle who wanted to kill me ran and I don't know if he's dead or alive but oh well lmao, anyway how are you?  
Everyone else: ...are you okay???  
\- Tiny bit about Niki, the burning of the L'manburg tree was her accidentally commiting arson in the break room to a fake plant.  
\- Fundy destroying the supplies but it's him knocking a bunch of shelves over 'cause he knocked something.  
\- Beeloon (pls I can't spell) was a bee he had in a jar that accidentally got loose and no-one knows where it went.  
\- Yk Boots? His actual cat? Yea that's a cat that he found outside the store and won't leave him alone so it's now his and stays in the break room or by his side.  
\- He's the one putting a 'which employees are furrys' list up in the break room. He always puts himself on it so no-one thinks it's him (it worked, no-one knows who it is).  
\- The list in no particular order is: Techno, Ant, Fundy, Puffy.  
\- His hit list is who he should hit over the head with a watermelon, no-one has fallen victim.. yet.

BridgeSpider >  
Techno and Tommy's team up is just a month that they have the same shift where it's basically just them at night. Sometimes dream, Phil, ranboo, and Wilbur show up but it's usually just techno and Tommy working. They got super close during this time period. Techno learned during this about Tommy's anxiety and how his parents neglected him. Techno shows Tommy comfort and telling him that if it came down to it he can always call techno and he'll come get him immediately. Sometimes techno helps Tommy with home work, sometimes Tommy helps techno with his hair. Even after the month is over and there shifts get put back to normal they still get a shift or two a week where it's just them to. Everybody knows how important those shifts are so the managers always try to give them a couple each week. Even if it annoys dream a little bit because they arnt where they used to be. At the end of the day he sees the improvement to both of there mental health and there bond. Especially when Tommy starts sleeping over at Technos all the time. Those days he came to work he seemed the happiest and healthiest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahha the chap i promised done! (sorry it took awhile)  
> i now have way more time to work on the Mr.Beast fic abt the au! yayy wrhbfjhveg
> 
> also comment your own headcannons down below! i literally love to read them and it gives me inspo for other oneshots!  
> (literarlly yalls comments give me so much serotonin, no matter the topic)
> 
> HYDRATE AND STAY SAFE :))))  
> link to the discord server :) (its not mine but im there all the time, along with so many other talented creators)  
> https://discord.gg/w9CwSK26mm  
> (copy and paste into browser)
> 
> go follow my Tumblr! - https://dream-smp-grocery-store-au.tumblr.com
> 
> HAVE A GOOD ONE :))

**Author's Note:**

> use the tag DreamSMP Grocery Store so i can see yalls add ons! (only if u want to ofc)
> 
> ALSO HYDRATE  
> 

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